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...Thursday 2 July 2009
Wassup,
time and time again I've been posting stuff every like once a month,
which is bad, for my blog that is and sometimes for me.
I just been really busy, no joke, been lazy, and tired most of all.
I'm gonna try to start a fresh, I'm not gonna blog abt what has
happened like a month ago and rather just
start a new and try my best
post as much as possible. Everytime I blog I get mixed feelings,
and sometimes when you read,
you might not really get what I'm saying,
but that's just me, that's the true essence of how i speak my mind
cz I'm just so drawn to what I'm speaking out through my head.
This past Monday, 29th June, was an experience of a life time,
it was the first Asian Youth Games and was being hosted by Singapore,
and by the luck of the Irish,
my skl's M'n'D was part of the opening ceremony.
So, short and sweet, practiced for months, all for one day,
and what a day it was. I thank God so much for giving me the chance
to do such a thing at such a scale at such a time.
But right now, I feel undone, empty inside, like a black hole.
Don't get me wrong this those not only have to do with my "love life"
but everything around me as well.
I sometimes ask questions that make me question my questions.
I sometimes feel restrained even with the freedom I have.
Now that I think back, am I really ME now? Even if I can't determine
who I really am, am I faking to be????
Don't get it right??? Me too..........
Something tells me, Relax go with the flow and enjoy life with responsibility,
but reality tells me, Not now, not this much and not at this age.
It looks obvious which I would choose to be happy right??
But, in fact, aren't I living that life now???
So why am I still feeling this way???
This is just like counting numbers, It never ends.................
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Monday 8 June 2009
Hey wassup,
It's been a long time again,
*Sigh*
Just been alot of things goin on.
Firstly, I would like to talk abt my birthday,
It was On the 31st of May, I wanted to blog but was kinda
bummed and tired I guess.
I was actually planning to go somewhere with some friends,
But then on the day it self, some of my friends were goin to
another birthday party on the same day for another girl I know.
So I guess we mind as well join her "party" since they were leaving
soon anyway, I didn't really wanna go cz i thought it would be bad.
But before all this, I invited a group of girls to come with me first,
then the day b4 we were suppose to go, they said they couldn't
and I definitely knew they were goin to the other girl's birthday.
So I obviously felt sad and angry that they were ditching me for
another person when I initialy asked them first.
Well i just put it behind me and just went with them.
So when we met up with some of the girls, most of them didn't
even wish me, so I got quite upset.
Even when the girls I invited saw me didn't even wish me,
I just knew following them was a mistake, but there was no
turning back, we already on the way to the venue(Marina Barage).
I was really pissed!!!!
But atleast I had Haily by my side,
So much for Vic being such a bro.......
when we got to MB, I was kinda wanting to kinda part from the group.
O, did I mention Haily brought his skateboard and I ask him to skate
down this sketchy slope, he did and really really hurt his arm.
He broke his wrist, and his elbow bled.
I feel sorry for him....... Kinda..... HAHAHA!
Well towards the end of the day, I was less angry but was still upset,
I really expect more from the Singaporean Kids, like honestly,
this goes out to ALL SINGAPOREAN TEENS, you all DON'T KNOW
how to be good friends...... I dun take back, never had and never will.
If you all say it's I who doesn't know how to be a good friend,
why is it that I have so many friends here(Malaysia) that love me as
a friend??? I have no doubt in my mind that you all really need to
GROW UP!!!
Other than that,
I'M FINALLY HOME!!!!!!!!
It's my second day home and ntg much has happened, although there
will be much to do...... I so can't wait to eat Mamak again,
I've seen both me grandmothers and I LOVE and MISS them lots!
I can't wait for the days to come and I know I will enjoy myself.....
I just also recently found out that BOTY ASIA will be in SG and that to
my ears were like heaven!!!!! Cz now I can go watch Awesomeness
and most importantly go meet MON my sifu! Which I so dearly
miss so much cz I've been starving for knowledge and skill of B-BOY.
B4 I came back I was having AYG rehearsals for four days straight from
11 a.m. - 6 p.m. It wasn't as tiring as I expected, so after these
two weeks here, I will have crunch time rehearsals and it will be at the
Singapore Indoor Stadium.
Yes, It's very special, I'm doing the opening ceremony along with,
200 - 300 beautifull girls and 30 odd guys. And this is event is
happening for the first time, so isn't it just amazing how I joined skl
this year and I get to do something this BIG!
Pray for my success......
I shall end this post with some pics =)
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Monday 25 May 2009
Hey hey,
I know, I know,
It's been shit long since I've posted
but I have my reasons............
All you all know that I don't usually post
when I am having strong emotions, dead tired, not in the mood etc.
Now, this probably gonna be a long long post, I have lots to say.
I'm not gonna go in order cz I can't remember so whatever....
Right now, honestly kinda stress,
I failed all my subjects for my mid-terms accept English.....
YES, I am dead serious, it just really pisses me off that I work
kinda hard(study) but I still fail or get shitty results like my English.
I can't even begin to imagine what my parents would say,
I didn't really tell my dad but my mom is coming for
PTM (parents teachers meeting) on thursday or friday.
OMG what do I do? I really pray for the best.....
But besides studies, whats bothering me is also
the friendship state in Singapore among teens.......
Usually by now, teens my age would have grown up and realize
what is true friendship. I am so disappointed in the way
you guys(teens) treat your friends......
Honestly, taking a step back and having a look,
you guys are just not using your brain to think sometimes but
only think abt what better for yourselves.......
Your other local friends dun take it as such a big deal cz once
again, they never stop to think that one thing or another could be
disrespectful, rude and just sometimes things totally not called for.
It just frustrates me alot sometimes and just hope you guys
will use both heart and brain.....
O!!! I MADE TO DEYI STAR FINALS!!!!!!
semi-finals was on 19th of May,
I did my thing and the crowd liked it,
I was the second last performance,
I was kinda surprised I had a larger applause than the most popular
guy in Skl.......
I got kinda popular myself for a while, but it only lasted one day.
I dun give a fuck anyway, I just really wanna win finals cz
I'm gonna show my all and if I don't make it then it means,
my all ain't good.
But I'mma do something big, alot spazz and dazzle in it too.... =)
I also heard certain plans abt my opponents.....
HOHOHO, I'm getting a lil worried.
F.Y.I, I am very zonked right now.
And, I think one last thing, all abt the opposite sex,
hehehe......
Well, I dun really kinda like her anymore, I thought I did,
she would have been great though.....
And I'm not sure If I like this one now,
She is kinda on and off all the time, but I guess time will tell.
I might also like her buddies.... HAHAHA, What a way to keep
my options open....
And finally, YOU! you lousy lil *#$#$ M@*$@$%@*$% #F@$
B*$#*&$&%%*$^^%($&#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can't believe I fell for your stupid trap,
You fuckin used me,
time and time again,
this will never happen again!
you can bet your life I will never treat you the same again.
*probably unless you have valid reason with proof.....*
Well, I guess that's all I can remember now....
I am totally zonked and am afraid I might not wake up for skl tmr.
So pls let me sleep in peace! O, I also got my tights and ballet shoes.
Weird Much......
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Sunday 3 May 2009
Hey wassup wassup,
In Orchard Park Suites now,
2:21a.m now so,
yesterday Vic came over to OPS
to "STUDY" with me.....
But before that,
Thursday was my mid-term English paper,
I feel confident abt it, and I hope for the best...
Friday was Labour Day, Happy Belated Birthday to Li Ping btw,
It was her Bday that day......
I also cut my hair and have a totally new hairstyle.....
definitely goin back there..... Wanna see?
gonna have to wait then.........
Saturday,
like I said, Vic came over,
we hung out in the suite and it was a great time.
Around 7:30 we went to Far East Plaza with mom and mom's friend
to eat a lovely lovely dinner and jalan jalan for clothes....
Currently looking for black jeans, anyone can help???
He went home after dinner,
so me, mom and mom's friend jalan jalan somemore,
ended up in a cafe then on to a CD store called "That CD Shop"
It's like a Louis Vuitton version of a CD store, really high class....
I bought this awesome CD with rockin dance beats.....
Later on,
we went to a bar called The Santuary,
it was rocking, live music was awesome and ambiance was cool.
Had a few drinks, and enjoyed the music.
Not too long later, we paid and went back to the hotel....
Sent mom's friend home and here I am writing this....
I wonder wants goin on in her head, I would kill to know.....
Well, maybe if it ain't right then wth can I do?
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Thursday 30 April 2009
Hey hey,
It's 12:48 now,
still up cz I slept once I came home,
was just tired as hell and whether was hot like Megan Fox...
Hate the feeling, actually, it ain't hot, it's humid!
Sweaty sweaty sweaty!! And it stinks! Literally!
O and later today, I have my mid-terms for English.
SHit! What am I still doing up? Well, at-least we get to go
home right after the exam, you S'porean students have it easy man.
But anyway, I'm really confused abit,
I guess I really like someone now but if you have known
what happened, you know it's not just
"O, I like her, I'm gonna get her" anymore, it's complicated.
So yea..... I'm gonna have to think it tru.......
O Brendan, why did you have to go at a time of need....
And didn't even pick up my phone when you were leaving!!!!
And lastly, Lady J, hang on there now, I'll always be there for you,
I'm always a phone call away if you need me, even though
I'm a few hundred miles away......=/
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Saturday 25 April 2009
Yo wassup,
Today, wait no yesterday was A Day,
It's 1:39 a.m now so....
So yea, I had me audition and judge judy there
wasn't too pleasant while judge whoever was just not helpful,
at all..... They just don't get it, they don't know what it's like
to b-boy for 2-3 mins straight and believe me you guys too have
NO IDEA!! And to make things worse the floor was slippery.
It may sound whinny but I'm serious, it was crucial to my
dance mostly my footwork for b-boy!
BUT, I still made it to the semi-finals......
that's why I just got back from A HELL of a practice.
I just dance till' I lost breath.
So tired, and I still have Math remedial today afternoon,
O so so stress..........
Someone pls give me a chill pill.... or a kiss from a girl,
pretty one of course, lip gloss is acceptable, strawberry if possible.
I gotta go catch me a dream now, or just continue practicing in
LaLaLANd...........
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Thursday 23 April 2009
Heyo wassup,
very very nervous/anxious/worried right now.
Tmr is A Day, wow sounds cool,
I just made that up by the way.
A Day, hmmmm, I hope I can pull it off.
Alot of ppl kinda supporting me,
well everybody I told anyway so....
Not too be cocky but I think I can pull off A Day,
but it's the semis and D DAY that I'm worried abt.
I PRAY PRAY PRAY pls let me go all the way,
my intentions is not to show off,
but to just grab every opportunity I get and make the best of it.
And that means getting it all.
Pls everybody wish me luck......
Maybe, I should do a prayer note.
Dear Lord,
I come to you in a time of need, I ask for you to bless
me, so that I can dance my best and make it all the way.
The judges, so that they may judge fairly and have a
clear mind to do it.
The other participants, may they do their best too.
And may the best star win.
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Wednesday 22 April 2009
Wassup wassup,
I didn't go to skl today, had a ruff headache in the morning,
thank God that the Doc was willing to give me a MC
even feeling well later in the afternoon.
Had my first practice today b4 dinner,
and I realized, that I can't out last a set,
this means I gotta cut the down the beats.
Auditions this Friday, worried and nervous,
Ppl, pls pray for my success.....
And on Monday,
OMG, I've never been so wanting to sleep but couldn't in my life.
cz of Sunday(last post), I couldn't sleep, so I had an all niter.
And guess when I felt like sleeping, when skl STARTED!
And the rest of the day was just torture,
just incase sum of you guys forget I have the tendency
to post after midnight, so dates might be confusing.
Well, if I related everything in my life to god,
I think he just sent me a reminder to go to sleep so......
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Monday 20 April 2009
Hey wassup ppl,
alot has happened lately, really amazed by What happened. How did it happened.
Why did it happened. I just can't think straight, as always, I probably can will,
I just need time, not time that will have break in it. Time like a whole weekend
to think, things just feel so messed up, boy will I have alot of white hair.
Let me first start by saying I lost my phone, I didn't actually loose it,
It dropped out of my pants while I was out with Vic.
Then for this weekend i was out the whole time, with vic,
but first with dad, glad to see father again, Love him.
later after spending time with pap, I was with for dinner,
decided to treat him.
Well I just randomly said lets go somewhere far like orchard.
And to my shock, Vic actually wanted to go, so we went to Orchard.
Went to Heeren and Cineleisure first at Heeren in HMV,
then Cineleisure 9th floor.
When we were at ninth floor, I kinda had an urge to play video games.
So..... we played Xbox, and well when did we start playing? at 10p.m.
Vic was kinda scared of being late but I was abit selfish I guess.
so we played anyway, by the time we finished, Vic was late(obviously).
And he had that rushy mood goin on and I just told him to relax,
by the time we reached AMK, we were just able to catch the last bus, luckily.
We made it home by around 12,
we survived but things wasn't as smooth i guess.
But it was at cineleisure that it all changed, by the time i reached home,
I have realized that I don't have my phone, yeap you guessed it.
Then today, asked Vic to go back with me to check if they still have it,
and to be damned they didn't have it......... was I upset?
Yea, but I thought, well, it happens. So well to get over it,
me and Vic played Xbox, Again!
And he told me he wanted to go back by 7 p.m so I thought yea we have
plenty of time, so we played our asses off, and after that it was kinda early,
So we ate.And then went to Kinokuniya for Music Scores.
And guess again, we were late! AGAIN!
and this time it got serious, Vic acted up again, couldn't blame him,
he was suppose to get food for the family.
That's not only what's been got me thinkin, I've been thinkin abt her I guess....
And just generally Love, I guess i understand why they say
"God is Love & Love Is God" Love is just so complicated,
trying to fully understand Love is like trying to understand God,
and that's impossible. I know I promised you God, and I'm keeping it,
but like what B said, if it's really meant to be,
I hope you'll be there to show me it is.
The song that really brings me to all this thinkin and inspiration for this post is,
Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson - Winter Song .
It is so deep for me. It's not just the words, it's everything!
It's every single instrument, chord, melody, flow, notation and sound of the song.
It's bcz of this song that tonight or morning that I am not sleeping,
but just dwelling, a lil' bit the past but dwelling more abt what is the meaning
behind EVERYTHING!
Everything that I've been through, everything that I've done,
everything I'm put here to do, Everything that surrounds me.
Everything.
This is probably THE most emotional post for me, full of mixed feelings.
BroB, I'm sry, I know I can't depend on you always, but you are always there
to help me clear my mind, to make me see my path, I've tried countless times
to clear it myself but I always made it worst.
I dunno how to do this, I know i should keep my priorities straight,
but these sidetracks sometimes mean much more important to me.
How I feel, defines what I do, how I do it or who I am, what i will be.
Is Love Alive? Chase the Dream not The Competition.....
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;
...Monday 13 April 2009
Halo,
Sigh, disappointment after disappointment,
Why? Why can't you guys come?
why can't you bring your baby?
But whatever,
very cliche but, make lemonade out of lemons.....
Thursday gonna have sometime alone with my darling,
no, I meant my beautiful Romanian Guitar....
My thoughts are just so haywire right now,
when I think about what I am thinking,
I have no idea what was I thinking......
Sigh, just know that it's kinda bringing me down,
trying not to let it hold me down.
Aiyaiyai, just learned I have to mix abt 4 songs.....
Painfull, but I want this! I'm gonna do it,
but very very nervous abt it.
Today had M&D, Mr. Dan was busy with the RP dance with
the other girls so the rest just slacked like crazy,
Mr. Ali took over the class and damn he is...... DAMN....
And thursday's M&D is cancelled! YAY!
I'm suddenly in love with ballads.....
I just have the feel for it now....
And I mean now, I SO WISH I HAD A VOICE!
Lady Jane says i have but pls, so horrible....
I want a voice! YingYu keeps saying I suck! so.......
You judge yea?!
P'n'L
-IL-
-
B-Boy rocks my live...# ;